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The reason he rode his bicycle back and forth in front of her house all afternoon, going just far enough around the corner to appear as if he was headed somewhere, was not that he liked her, at least not romantically speaking. Actually quite the opposite was true. The reason he spent so much time hoping to be seen by her that summer was that he knew she liked him. He wasn't looking to give anything, but there aren't that many opportunities for an overweight, clumsy child of 10 years to be adored. If she saw him, she might smile and come out to say hello, or to go for a walk, and his mission would be complete. The need to be loved seemed to have arrived ahead of the need to love someone else, he would later reflect. But is there really so sharp a difference in the giving and recieving? By wanting her attention, was he not also giving her the same? He was pedaling for two hours, waiting for a chance to share some time, to recieve but also to validate her affection. He wondered all these things, some to make him feel better, some because he couldn't sleep.

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