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its a revolution, my precioussss It is not everyday that you have a chance to be a part of something this big. Have you ever heard one of those catchy phrases du jour like "going postal" or "get medieval" and wonder where they started? Well today you may well be a part of the next big trend in colloquial American English. There hasn't been much news lately regarding violent incidents from the Postal Service, so I submit to you that it is time to move on from that outdated slang. Instead we must set our collective fingers on the cultural wrist and cause our language to evolve at the speed of the pulse of pop culture. It is with this in mind that I propose the immediate use of the the phrase "Going Gollum." Obviously derived from a character in the popular Lord of the Rings movie adaption, "Going Gollum" expresses a variety of actions and attitudes previously requiring longer explanations. the following will demonstrate how to tell if someone is going Gollum, and how you, yourself, can go Gollum. Example 1: I was eating a cookie last night. Not just any cookie, the last Girl Scout bran Samoan. It was hidden underneath a larger, inferior cookie (although if I recall I ate that one too). There were several in the room who did not see this final cookie, and expressed jealousy and hostility towards me for it. One even dared to try and remove the cookie from me while I was eating it. I calmly explained to this person that if one was desiring to lose a finger over said Samoan, then one might try that again. Thus, "going gollum" was born. As in, "don't make me go gollum on you, you'll lose a finger." Example 2: You could also apply this phrase to someone else. If I had not just coined the phrase and used it, the potential cookie thief might well have said "Woah there! No need to go Gollum on me. It's just a cookie", to which the proper response would be "It's mine. My own. My precious," and perhaps a scream of delight. Starting today, take every opportunity to use this phrase correctly. Soon it will become a part of the American lexicon everywhere, and you will feel a sense of pride and superiority for having brought this about. You heard it here first. if we all work together, we can make a difference!

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